We stick the boot into gaming’s worst bosses; from the laughably limp to unfairly hard.
Mutoid Man also helped pioneer the tedious ‘limb-removable’ battle, which sees you whittling away at your adversary’s extremities one part at a time. We truly hate this. Ridiculously, the mutated numskull continues to fight on even after you’ve blown his entire head off. Usually a decapitated boss spells victory in a video game, but not so with Mutoid Man. You have to keep plugging away at him for what feels like another hour. Beating Mutoid Man was definitely an achievement — but so is scaling Mt Everest with live electrodes attached to your genitals. We’re not sure either venture is worth the effort.
At the feet of every great video game hero lays the battered remains of a great video game boss. They’re the essential Yin to your protagonist’s Yang, the driving force behind the adventure, and the yardstick by which our gaming skills are measured (and eventually mastered).Ever since the Phoenix mothership burst into arcade parlours in 1980, the boss has been an enduring staple of the industry. Where would Link be without Ganon? Or Cloud without Sephiroth? Or Kratos without vital internal organs? (Not a ‘boss’ per se, but he really seems to hate those things.) From Jumpman’s first tussle with Donkey Kong, to Solid Snake’s mental showdown with Psycho Mantis, the boss battle has provided some of gaming’s most memorable moments... along with its fair share of headaches. It seems that for every thrilling boss finale, there’s a tedious boss fizzer, along with scores of cheap tricksters and dirty fighters. Often, the climactic showdown will be more trouble than it’s worth, and may even ruin the game they 'star' in.In the following slideshow, we take a look at some of the worst bosses ever to limp onto gamers’ screens. Whether due to poor programming, hammy dialogue or a botched design, these bad guys are bad for all the wrong reasons. Some are piss-weak posers, others are shameless cheats. A few simply fail to be menacing in any way whatsoever. Whatever the flaw might be, they’re all broken in one way or another — a bit like the controllers they’ve caused us to hurl away in disgust. So instead of the most diabolical video-game villains of all time, we're proud (kinda) to present the worst video-game bosses of all time.
A gratuitous pic of Samus. (We couldn’t find another screen grab of the bad guy.)
General Raam dying, yesterday.
“I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture... and kill them.” — Private Joker, Full Metal Jacket.
Did we mention how much we hate these guys?
For reasons we can’t quite fathom, Irem seems inordinately proud of Dobkeratops. In addition to appearing in numerous sequels he has also been a frequent cover star on R-Type game boxes and arcade flyers. Go figure.
We’re assuming this Jinpachi Mishima wallpaper art was a practical joke on Namco’s part. Only the most unhinged sadomasochist would enjoy staring at this on their computer all day.
Outrageously, the game later pits you against two of these pesky buggers. Both of which explode when you kill them.
Seth manfully showing off his lack of genitalia. At least we’ve got something over him.
Original R-Type arcade flyer, featuring Dobkeratops.
R-Type MSX computer box cover, featuring Dobkeratops. (At least, we think it’s Dobkeratops.)
Don’t have an account? Sign up here
Don't have an account? Sign up now