The 17 worst games of 2008

Warning: the following games are not recommended for anyone who enjoys playing video games!

  • #12: Rock Revolution

    You know those movies they have at Blockbuster Video like "Snakes on a Train" and "Alien vs. Hunter" that serve the sole purpose of tricking stupid people into renting them? Well, Rock Revolution is the video game equivalent. I can just picture the mom who buys this game now: "What's that game everyone likes, Rock and Roll Hero?"
  • #3: Homie Rollerz

    Who doesn't love those somewhat racist Mexican gangster figurines they sell in gum ball machines at supermarkets called "Homiez"? Oh yeah, we don't. Homie Rollerz is one part Mario Kart, one part Vato, and all parts incredibly shitty.
  • #16: Alone in the Dark

    Within the first five minutes of booting up Atari's embarrassing attempt to resurrect the Alone in the Dark franchise, you'll realise what you've gotten yourself into. AITD gives new meaning to what a "bad video game" can be, and somehow achieves the antithesis of fun as seen in the opening level where you are forced to press a button every two seconds to blink in order to see anything in the game.
  • Warning: the following games are not recommended for anyone who enjoys playing video games!
    Don't get us wrong. With huge blockbuster games like Metal Gear Solid 4, LittleBigPlanet, Grand Theft Auto IV, Gears of War 2, Super Smash Bros. Brawl and about 30 other must-play titles, 2008 was the year to own a next-gen console. But last year's new releases weren't all fun and games. Join us as we name the 17 most life-changingly wretched video games to come out of 2008.

  • #13: Castlevania Judgment

    A fighting game that allows you to thrash an opponent as Simon Belmont, Dracula and numerous other characters from the Castlevania universe might sound like a decent idea, but it made for one of the most shamefully sloppy fighting games ever created, and a complete bastardisation of the Castlevania franchise. Skip it, even if you're a fan.
  • #7: Sonic Unleashed

    Here's a surprise. The game that was supposed to bring Sega's blue-furred mascot back to his glory days turned out to be just another straight-to-the-garbage Sonic game. We're still not happy about those terrible Werehog levels.
  • #15: Wii Music

    There was a time when we believed that in order for a game to receive the official "Wii" brand in front of its name, it had to reach some level of quality. That notion was crushed immediately when Nintendo dumped out Wii Play. But even the abysmal Wii Play doesn't get close to how lame an experience Wii Music is. We can't see anyone having fun with Wii Music other than babies who like to bang on pots and pans to create primitive rhythms.
  • #6: Legendary

    Legendary, a first-person shooter where you battle mythological enemies like Minotaurs, Werewolves, Golems and other fearsome beasts that manage to crawl out of Pandora's Box, was supposed to be indie developer GameCock's big title that made the gaming world take them seriously. Legendary had some stiff competition this year with other shooter behemoths being released like Resistance 2, Call of Duty: World at War, Left 4 Dead, and Far Cry 2. But even if it were the only FPS to be released this year, it'd still be a rotten shooter that's not worth your time.
  • #10: Pong Toss: Frat Party Games

    Don't get me wrong. No one enjoys a good game of beer pong more than this editor, but when you eliminate the best part of the game (the liquidy reward), the game becomes absolutely worthless. Not only does Pong Toss: Frat Party Games fail to grasp why people play the game in the first place, they also don't include any of the flashing, furniture-burning or fist-fights of real frat parties. Boo!
  • #9: Facebreaker

    The direness of Facebreaker smacks you right in the mouth like a powerful right hook. The game is unsuccessful in attempting to capture the over-the-top boxing appeal of games like Punch-Out!! and Ready 2 Rumble and is easily one of the worst sports games of the year. Bring on Fight Night Round 4, dammit!
  • #11: Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon

    Talk about a series that went down the drain. The fourth game in the Destroy All Humans! series bombed hard, mainly due to the fact that it constantly hits you over the head with genuinely awful jokes that would make even Carrot Top cringe. Do yourself a favour and remember Destroy All Humans! for its vastly superior first two games.
  • #17: Target Terror

    Out of all the miserably bad video games on this list, Target Terror is almost worth playing just so you can experience the massive tub of whale excrement it is. With graphics that look like they're straight out of 1991, mind-numbing lightgun shooting gameplay, and cheesy actors running around on the screen pretending to get shot, Target Terror is a hands-down one of the worst things to be defecated onto the Wii. What kind of terrorists carry chainsaws anyway?
  • #8: Vampire Rain: Altered Species

    First Alone in the Dark became Alone in the Dark: Inferno when it was released onto the PS3 and now this? What's with horrendous video games being re-released with an additional title stuck onto its original name? Don't be fooled — Vampire Rain: Altered Species is just as "sucky" as it was in 2007 incarnation for the Xbox 360.
  • #2: Imagine Wedding Designer

    Coming from a long line of vaguely sexist video games marketed towards female gamers is Imagine Wedding Designer for the DS. Imagine Babyz and Imagine Fashion Designer were bad, but Wedding Designer is equal parts horribly boring to play and offensive to the senses.
  • #14: Golden Axe: Beast Rider

    A note to developers: if you're going to try to cash in on the success of ultra-gory action games like God of War, you're going to have to do more to make up for its dreary gameplay than just having a half-naked girl as the protagonist. Beast Rider is an especially sad entry in our round up of the foulest video game offerings of 2008 because it also soiled the good name of Golden Axe. Play the classic game and steer clear of Beast Rider.
  • #4: Hail to the Chimp

    Like Legendary, Hail to the Chimp also comes from Texas-based independent game developer GameCock. And like Legendary, it also fails to deliver a gameplay experience even remotely good. Hail to the Chimp is undoubtedly one of the least fun party games we've played, making slop like Carnival Games for the Wii seem not so bad in comparison.
  • #5: Secret Service: Ultimate Sacrifice

    If you thought Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare had some nasty pro-Bush/overdone "patriotic" messages snuck in there -- with its quotes from Condoleezza Rice among quotes from true patriots like Thomas Jefferson and JFK -- then get a load of this game. Not only did this game place players in the role of acting as a meat shield for the commander in chief, it played like a shooter plucked straight from the PlayStation era. In the line of fire, indeed.
  • #1: Bus Simulator 2008

    Yes, we've played Bus Simulator 2008. And yes, it's exactly as kill-yourself-boring as it sounds.
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