8 games that used stealth stupidly

Metal Gear Solid has mastered what these games failed at. Check out these less-than-stellar stealth titles.

  • 7- Alias

    Alias gives the word "undercover" a whole other meaning — as in the extreme lack of cover. Based on the television series starring Jennifer Garner as Sydney Bristow, you are disguised in ridiculously conspicuous outfits peaking around corners and hiding behind glass dividers as if transparent walls make good hiding places. Apparently, CIA agents are unable to see through glass, and sneaking into empty rooms with sliding glass doors requires extra precaution. Ahh, Acclaim. How we miss your unique brand of mediocrity.
  • 2- Hulk

    Man, if you thought Ang Lee screwed up the superhero formula with the 2003 film adaptation of Hulk, this game is the other slice of bread in the crap sandwich. Some genius at Radical Entertainment thought it would be a great idea to allow gamers to play as Bruce Banner. Note to any superhero game developers. Never include the mild-mannered alter-ego in your game, especially if he's powerless! Anyway, the Bruce Banner portion of the game required you to slowly and carefully sneak through labs and other heavily fortified structures that the Hulk could have ploughed through in seconds.
  • 1- Brute Force

    If ever a game name discouraged stealth, it's this one. But there's Hawk, one of the members of Brute Force's elite fighting squad, who uses invisibility and a butter knife (ok, "energy sword") to scout out the battlefield conditions while the other members of her team hang at the recon point to make fun of her. Think about it this way — what if you bought a game called "Subtle Stealth" and one of the characters was a Tourette's — afflicted sumo wrestler equipped with a chainsaw and rocket launcher? Actually, that would be pretty cool. Excuse us while we head off to the patent office.
  • 4- Rogue Ops

    Nikki Connors is the female protagonist of the game who seeks retribution against Omega 19, a terrorist group responsible for the death of her family. Fuelled by vengeance, she joins a covert anti-terrorist group to infiltrate enemy bases without being detected or setting off enemy alarms. The alternative tactic, which works for a good portion of the game, is to shoot through everything, which actually sounds like a better plan for vengeance than sneaking up on someone and scaring them.
  • 3- Shadow of Rome

    Shadow or Rome attempts to combine action and stealth-based gameplay through two separate characters in an intertwining storyline. While Aggripa is accused of assassinating Julius Caesar and is thrown into the gladiatorial arena to defend his own life, Octavianus sneaks around the senate to gather information in order to free his wrongly accused friend. If freedom means no more chariot races and limb-severing gladiator combat, count us out.
  • 6- Batman Begins

    There are many approaches to being a superhero. Usually, it entails fighting or outwitting your foes — or in the case of Batman, incorporating specially crafted non-lethal gadgets from your arsenal to incapacitate and strike fear into the hoodlums of Gotham City. Being a superhero should be effortless: appearing out of nowhere during a time of crisis is a superhero's primary given right and not just another gameplay rip-off of traditional stealth-based games.
  • 8- Vampire Rain

    Vampires are on the loose. What's the best course of action? Arm the military with stakes and garlic and wipe those bloodsuckers out, right? Wrong. According to Artoon, the developers of Vampire Rain, the best method is to bring in a stealth infiltration squad with three people, one of whom is a poor man's Sam Fisher. And seriously, do as the 20th century philosopher Sinbad said: "If you're going to go kill Dracula, go during the day when he's asleep."
  • 5- Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness

    Tomb Raider: The Angel of Darkness seemed to have been created with a laundry list of cliche game features. Emo-styled sidekick? Check. Out-of-place RPG-style branching conversations? Check. And the coup de grace of stupid additions — stealth? You betcha. After years of plumbing the depths of sparsely populated ancient ruins, Core Designs decided to take Lara Croft indoors, where she had to avoid detection to complete her objectives. Thankfully, Eidos relieved Core of its designing duties and handed the reins to Crystal Dynamics, who brought the series out of stealth and back to respectability.
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