Geek Week: Apple fans want 3G now, iPhones get 'wow'ed

Memo to Apple fanboys: Please stop hyperventilating. It will all be over soon.

Slouching toward Cupertino. It's not every day the Second Coming gives you advance notice, but the resurrection of the Jesus Phone -- in 3G, for the first time ever! -- is now (unofficially) slated for June 9. Or so says gadget blog Gizmodo, quoting "someone very, very close to the 3G iPhone launch." Who could be Steve Job's personal masseuse's second cousin's mechanic, for all we know, or Citi analysts Richard Gardner and Yeechang Lee, who made the same prediction three weeks ago. Given that June 9 is also the date of Jobs' keynote to the Apple worldwide developers conference, the most eloquent response I can muster is "duh." Now if Jobs doesn't announce a 3G handset on that day, that will be big news. Memo to Apple fanboys: Please stop hyperventilating. It will all be over soon.

'Wow' now, brown cow. Meanwhile, I have the perfect trick to play on obnoxious fanboys who boast about their "hacked" iPhones (and don't give me that "who me?" look, you know who you are). VistaPerfection 2.0 lets you take a cracked iPhone and makes the interface look just like Windows Vista. You'll probably have to slip Ambien into their Krank2O, pry the phone from their soft clammy hands, and fiddle about with Secure Shell, but it will be worth it just to see their faces when they wake up. In other news: This item may be the only time in the history of Notes From the Field that the words "Vista" and "perfection" have appeared in the same sentence.

Small head Todd. So you've committed a heinous act and you desperately need a new identity so you can flee the country. (I know, happens to me at least once a month.) You could do worse than steal Todd Davis's Social Security Number. The CEO of Lifelock got famous for posting his SSN on his company's home page, and then infamous when a Texas drifter used Davis's identity to cash a $500 check. Now Lifelock is being sued by customers in three states, saying the company's ID Theft protection services don't work -- and they're using Davis's own experience as Exhibit A. Attorney David Paris claims he's found 20 instances where strangers have tried to use Davis' Social to obtain IDs. Davis says that's nuthin'. Thieves have nabbed his name 87 times, he says, but aside from the Texas drifter nobody's managed to get any money out of it. So the next time the Feds are pounding on your door, just open it and say "Hi, my name is Todd Davis, and my Social Security Number is 457-55-5462." If you're lucky you'll get to share a cell with all the other guys named Todd Davis.

Join the newsletter!

Or

Sign up to gain exclusive access to email subscriptions, event invitations, competitions, giveaways, and much more.

Membership is free, and your security and privacy remain protected. View our privacy policy before signing up.

Error: Please check your email address.
Keep up with the latest tech news, reviews and previews by subscribing to the Good Gear Guide newsletter.

Robert X. Cringely

InfoWorld
Show Comments

Cool Tech

Toys for Boys

Family Friendly

Stocking Stuffer

SmartLens - Clip on Phone Camera Lens Set of 3

Learn more >

Christmas Gift Guide

Click for more ›

Brand Post

Most Popular Reviews

Latest Articles

Resources

PCW Evaluation Team

Aysha Strobbe

Microsoft Office 365/HP Spectre x360

Microsoft Office continues to make a student’s life that little bit easier by offering reliable, easy to use, time-saving functionality, while continuing to develop new features that further enhance what is already a formidable collection of applications

Michael Hargreaves

Microsoft Office 365/Dell XPS 15 2-in-1

I’d recommend a Dell XPS 15 2-in-1 and the new Windows 10 to anyone who needs to get serious work done (before you kick back on your couch with your favourite Netflix show.)

Maryellen Rose George

Brother PT-P750W

It’s useful for office tasks as well as pragmatic labelling of equipment and storage – just don’t get too excited and label everything in sight!

Cathy Giles

Brother MFC-L8900CDW

The Brother MFC-L8900CDW is an absolute stand out. I struggle to fault it.

Luke Hill

MSI GT75 TITAN

I need power and lots of it. As a Front End Web developer anything less just won’t cut it which is why the MSI GT75 is an outstanding laptop for me. It’s a sleek and futuristic looking, high quality, beast that has a touch of sci-fi flare about it.

Emily Tyson

MSI GE63 Raider

If you’re looking to invest in your next work horse laptop for work or home use, you can’t go wrong with the MSI GE63.

Featured Content

Don’t have an account? Sign up here

Don't have an account? Sign up now

Forgot password?