In Pictures: CEOs Microsoft missed

In Satya Nadella, Microsoft played it sensible. Here are the Ballmer successors we tech wags wanted to make our Redmond-flogging jobs a little easier

5. Patrick “Gunslinger” Gelsinger Gelsinger actually invented his own nickname in a desperate and wildly unsuccessful attempt to impress college girls. Gelsinger is currently CEO of VMware, which is probably why he wasn’t under serious consideration -- VMware is an actual innovator in the data center, rather than a me-too copycat like Microsoft’s been for the past couple of decades. Plus, he’s an ex-engineer with Intel experience, helping to design the 80286-80486 CPUs, so he’s probably got too much social anxiety disorder in him for the board to manipulate with advanced social interactions like naked coed square dancing -- currently all the rage at Mercer Island’s midnight billionaire bashes.

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