Portal 2 delayed, E3 surprise announcement confirmed

Valve teases at Poirtal-related E3 surprise

The original Portal: still one of the best games of all time.

The original Portal: still one of the best games of all time.

First the bad news. Portal 2, originally scheduled for a holiday launch, will slip to a 2011 release. The good news? Valve is promising that its E3 surprise will be related to the highly-anticipated first-person action-puzzler.

Valve sent out a press release today announcing that Portal 2 would not be making its originally intended 'Holiday 2010' release date. This comes just days after the game's E3 press event was canceled.

The announcement also clarified the nature of the "surprise" promised after the company downgraded its E3 presence, stating that it will indeed be Portal-related. Over the past few days, rumors had surfaced that the surprise would be focused on Half-Life 2 or a new version of the company's Source engine (via VG247).

So rest assured, Valve will have something important to say about Portal 2 at E3. Here's hoping it's "Just kidding, guys. Portal 2 is totally coming out this year.

We don't normally post press releases verbatim, but Valve has once again managed to make bad news hilarious. Here's the company's official statement:

VALVE ANNOUNCES MAKING GAMES IS HARD

June 9, 2010 -- Aperture Science, doing business as Aperture Laboratories LLC, in partnership with Valve today announced the successful completion of an ethics-review-panel-supervised release date restructuring process. Portal 2, the sequel to the ground-breaking title that earned over 30 Game of the Year awards despite missing its original ship date, is now targeted for a 2011 release.

Representatives from both companies acknowledged that public safety concerns factored into the decision. They went on to say that even though Portal 2 will arrive slightly later than planned, all life on earth won't instantaneously stop as every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light, which is what would happen should a rip ever appear in the fabric of Valve Time.

"Also, the game will be even better," they added, missing an historic opportunity to create the first product delay press release to mention that a product is being delayed to make it worse.

To ask questions about how close we all came to dying, or to ask futile questions about the previously announced E3 ***PORTAL-2-THEMED-FOR-GOD'S SAKE*** surprise or, less futilely, to schedule an appointment to attend a Portal 2 screening at the Valve booth during E3, please contact Valve's delegate to the EU's Valve Time Studies Group.

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Dave Rudden

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