18 reasons Steve Jobs won't deliver any more Macworld keynotes

Steve Jobs has apparently delivered his last Macworld Expo keynote speech.

Steve Jobs.

Steve Jobs.

As you probably know, Steve Jobs has apparently delivered his last Macworld Expo keynote speech. On the scale of highly anticipated events, Jobs' keynotes clearly beat Outbreak of World Peace and are closing in on a Beatles Reunion Tour (especially now that the band would consist of Paul, Ringo and Pete Best). So the anguished cry here at PC World's offices is "Why?" (Though, in fairness, we're probably not quite as anguished as our corporate cousins at IDG Expo, who produce the Macworld show.) Here are our attempts at an answer to the question of the day: Why did Steve abandon us?

1. He couldn't decide what to wear.

2. Apple's Fairplay DRM restricts how many times he can appear publicly.

3. Heard rumor that angry journalists were preparing to throw shoes at him during keynote.

4. He will be there, just in Steve Jobs Nano version, which is too small to see or hear.

5. Steve finally realized that John Mayer's smooth vocal stylings make people's ears bleed.

6. Concerns that Steve's latest catchphrase, "That's Fierce" from Project Runway, didn't have the traction of "un-bel-eiv-able," "mere mortals" and "Pretty cool, huh?"

7. It's all AT&T's fault.

8. Barack Obama recruited Steve to run Chrysler.

9. Steve's agent advised him not to let himself be typecast as "That Apple Guy."

10. "The Collective has been compromised; all available resources have been redirected to combat the incursion."

11. The show was just "a bag of hurt."

12. He heard Bart Simpson was going to be there.

13. Apple wanted to cash in on this "Jobs-cutting" trend.

14. He was already double-booked at the NeXT PC Expo.

15. He's putting all his efforts into voicing Woody in "Toy Story 4."

16. Due to an ill-conceived Apple patent-infringement lawsuit (Jobs v. Jobs, 2007), Steve Jobs is not allowed within 100 yards of Steve Jobs and must spend the rest of eternity in a reality distortion field.

17. It's part of a slew of Apple "improvements" that also include canceling Christmas.

18. He's trying out for a position as the new Fake Steve Jobs.

Tags Applesteve jobsmacworld

Recommended

Keep up with the latest tech news, reviews and previews by subscribing to the Good Gear Guide newsletter.

PC World Staff

PC World (US online)

Comments

Comments are now closed.

Most Popular Reviews

Follow Us

Best Deals on GoodGearGuide

Shopping.com

Latest News Articles

Resources

GGG Evaluation Team

Kathy Cassidy

STYLISTIC Q702

First impression on unpacking the Q702 test unit was the solid feel and clean, minimalist styling.

Anthony Grifoni

STYLISTIC Q572

For work use, Microsoft Word and Excel programs pre-installed on the device are adequate for preparing short documents.

Steph Mundell

LIFEBOOK UH574

The Fujitsu LifeBook UH574 allowed for great mobility without being obnoxiously heavy or clunky. Its twelve hours of battery life did not disappoint.

Andrew Mitsi

STYLISTIC Q702

The screen was particularly good. It is bright and visible from most angles, however heat is an issue, particularly around the Windows button on the front, and on the back where the battery housing is located.

Simon Harriott

STYLISTIC Q702

My first impression after unboxing the Q702 is that it is a nice looking unit. Styling is somewhat minimalist but very effective. The tablet part, once detached, has a nice weight, and no buttons or switches are located in awkward or intrusive positions.

Latest Jobs

Don’t have an account? Sign up here

Don't have an account? Sign up now

Forgot password?